these few days my happy moments onli laz for awhile...
im sick of fyp... everytime fyp fyp fyp...
i miss my bf... havent seen him since laz wed... thanx to fyp... :(
havent been shopping for a long time... no money... no time... thanx to fyp...
cant skip lessons anymore... under parents observation at e moment... nothing to do wif fyp...
wats e point?
wats e use?
mite as well go on our own separate ways...
happy 29th anniversay mom n dad...
♥ 9:34 PM.
very bad day... very very bad day...
i usually set my alarm @ 7.30... snooze until mom wake me up @ 8..
but den! today she woke me up @ 8.45!!
walaooooo...... den when i went out, she still can ask "dun wan eat 1st?"
so angry! oredi feel like not gg sch... sms lala ask her go out wif me...
she reply so late so i juz go sch lor... managed to go to class...
but den!!!!! today's class like shit!!! wat synthesizer? sequencer? so confusing!!!
den met client... client oso knn! we expect her to choose 1 of our 4 ideas tat we've brainstorm like shit for 1 month... but she onli read e 1st 2 den say its too common... den she keep telling us HER idea which is like common oso... grrrr.... so we hav to come out wif a new idea... HELLO! ITS OREDI NOV SIOL!
homed.. n i tot my bad day is over... but noooo~ my parents received sch letter cuz i skipped lessons! walao... i everyday check letterbox 1 seh... y i so suay!
i say "aiya.. i late onli... den they consider me absent for 1st meeting..."
mom say "go call e sch la... den later ur grades how?"
i say "tats e sch policy... wat can i do?"
scared my parents wud call e sch themselves sia... since now my dad is jobless... hu noes he got nothing better to do so he go n call.. NOOOOO!!!!!~ i die!!!!!
♥ 10:15 PM.
feeling super terrible...
not wanting to emo at home so i forced myself to sch even tho izzy not coming... n xinxin sms-ed me when i was in e bus saying she not coming... so i felt like not coming oso... den suddenly xinxin sms-ed again saying she reached sch oredi... i was like wth?!?! she bluff me!! is today april fool??
anyway, im soooo emo cuz.... i broke up... but not cuz of e break up... cuz we cudnt continue as frens... :( he's a great guy... n i like him onli as a fren... i end up losing him as a fren oso... its my fault... n i hav to understand his feelings... i'll try to let go of him... y does it seem like im being dumped when it was actually me hu dumped him... :( im sorry...
marriage is a serious matter... n im onli 19... like u said, im still young n i mite change... i understand u're oredi 27 n nid to settle down... but can u at least find someone hu is much suitable? i dun do e laundry.... i wash e dishes onli during e fasting month... i onli clean up my room once in awhile... i can onli cook maggie mee successfully... i hav no experience taking care of a baby... how to survive??
love my blog video... if onli i cud play like tat... if onli i hav my own space... sooo cool!! everything was in high strokes sia!! loveeesss it...
♥ 10:31 PM.
he confirms e break off after he cools off...
e things he said tat makes me angry....
"u dunno e different between luv n frenship" [if i dunno how to differentiate them, i wud still b tgt wif him like a fool lying to myself...]
"ur gf is more important than me" [i noe them longer than him seh.. wat do u expect?]
"go on wif him... i noe u still love him" [wtf? hu siol?]
"fren is important but they can nvr b wif u 4ever" [if tis is true, how do bff=best fren FOREVER exist?]
"i mad at u cuz u go out wif them wifout telling me.. u dun even bother to ask.." [wat? i hav to report everything to him?? n i hav to ask permission from him?? he's worse than my parents!]
ya.. i put my frens first on my list... actually it depends on whom i've known longer la... fair rite? hate it when ppl blame it on my frens for e things tat I do.. it was MY decision... dun get my frens involve can...
anyway, juz now met another new fren... we toked abt all sorts of things... i guess i feel comfortable toking to him cuz he looks like my lil cuzzie... he's short! age 22 but abt my height... haha! thanx for not letting me emo at home...
♥ 1:14 AM.
i broke up...
he asked me to choose between him n frens... n i said frens...
n i realise tat i cudn't love him... i tot mayb when we got tgt, love mite grow...
but i cud onli treat him as a fren... if i were to continue being tgt wif him, i wud b either forcing myself to love him or juz lying to everyone even myself..
e reason y i accepted him is bcuz i wanted to forget abt e other someone n i appreciate him for being nice to me...
now he's angry wif me... im sorry... it was my fault...
i dun wanna get into relationship anymore!!!! got phobia oredi...
being juz frens r so so so much much much betterrrrr....
i hav to b strong n learn to say NO to relationships... its better not starting a relationship rather than breaking e relationship...
m i flirty? i juz wan b friendly... :(
♥ 3:06 PM.
jason say i shud go into designing... shud i?? yar video-ing is quite difficult to find money... cuz there's too much production houses oredi.. den shud i?? i dunno leh.. :(
meeting client tis thurs... im so nervous!! wat if she didnt like any of our ideas?? wat if we end up not meeting her?? [cuz of miscommunication? like e SL thing] argh! i shud think positive!
we didnt meet for 4 days... so sad...
♥ 12:01 AM.
